We never change, do we?

I spent way too many hours on myspace tonight looking at the profiles of dozens of people I knew from high school and from the past 10 years. Over and over I was struck by how much no one has changed... and I emphasize that very strongly. It's really weird. Apparently I'm the only person I know who has changed significantly since I was 15, and I am extremely glad for it. I am SO glad I am not the same person I was at 15, 18, even at 21.

I am more comfortable with who I am now than I ever have been. By that I mean I am far more mature and a much less awkward person now than ever before. My interests have drastically changed, my personality has mellowed out significantly, and now I actually care about other people instead of only giving lip service to caring (even though I still have a long way to go in that arena). I have gone through phases of fake caring and contrived passion even recently, which I am still mildly embarassed for. I'm sure I do things on a regular basis now that I will be embarassed for even in a year... and I'm glad for that. I'm glad for maturity.

It seems like so many people I know reject the idea of "maturity" as some lame social convention. I did. When I was 15 I wrote these lyrics and belted them out in front of literally tens of people:

(Verse)
My dad says dress nice don't tie your shoes
Cover that hickey and wash your hair
But I'm having fun anyway
And I don't give a f---ing care

(Chorus)
But I don't care
And it's alright with me
Cause I enjoy myself
F--- what's right socially

(You can see how cool I was by inserting expletives to add emphasis to my point).

I think at the time I was reacting against something real that was and is messed up in society and in my personal life, I was just doing it in an extremely childish way. Thank God that blogs and myspace didn't exist back then, because my immature teenage musings would be forever saved in some archive on the internet. I am glad for how far I've come, and I don't ever want to go back to where I was.

The lyrics I posted above were from a song I wrote called "content" (content as in contentment... not as in the contents of my purse). The challenge for my life now is to not become content with myself at any point. I should always be content with what I have or posess, but never with who I am. I don't mean physically, I mean mentally and spiritually. I know I am not "basically good", as so many postmoderns would have me believe. I have seen into the depths of my own heart, and what is there is not "basically good".

Now I've gone into totally different territory, when my main point was about change. I'm glad I've changed. Change is a good thing. I'm amazed that so many other people I know have not changed at all, even in 10 years. Read Who Moved My Cheese? It's good stuff.